# 424: Tailor Made Lessons

Lessons can be hard but they also can bring us closer to happiness.

Aug 06, 2026

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One Day Closer to Happiness

Mom was in the house and I went next door to climb the avocado tree on a late morning in summer. My brother and his friends had climbed it a day or so before and I thought I’m going to do that, too. It was quiet and dark under the branches. I listened to the leaves rustle in the breeze and watched the peekaboo shadows they made on my tanned legs and bare feet after I climbed up and perched myself on a limb. Even though Mom was always worried that I would fall and hurt myself, I didn’t worry. Other than my white shorts and shirt getting smeared with whatever dark green stuff lived on the the branches, I didn’t worry about much. It was an idyllic childhood.

In the afternoons Helen Brown came to do light housework and keep an eye on me while Mom taught piano in the front room. Helen was like my second mom and when I returned home to take care of Mom before her death in 1982, she helped care for my daughter Sara.

One day I was outside in the backyard digging in the dirt when Helen came out the back door carrying a laundry basket to take down our dry laundry from the line and fold it, a job that became mine when I was tall enough to pin the towels and sheets up with wooden clothespins. Showing her a small handful of dirt I asked, “Can I eat this?” I remember her answering “Well, the good Lord made it so I guess you can.” I thought that maybe it would taste like chocolate, put some in my mouth and quickly spit it out. Helen was a very patient and wise woman who knew “Don’t Eat Dirt” is a lesson that would only take once for me to learn.

Other lessons weren’t nearly as clear and if they were, I would often decide that I knew a better way. As the exasperated mom of a teenage girl, Mom said that the only way I ever seemed to learn was by doing it myself no matter what she told me. She was right. From my own experience, I’ve learned that when I don’t “get” the lesson the first time, when it comes around again, and it will, it usually is harder than that first opportunity to learn from it.

A few decades ago at a guided therapy retreat, I reflected on the loss of my parents at an early age, multiple miscarriages, marriages that crumbled, the challenges of a severely handicapped and mentally-delayed daughter who passed away at thirty-seven, and starting over after loosing nearly everything financially at forty-five. I asked myself, “Why does it have to be so hard?” The answer I heard inside of me was, “It wasn’t meant to be this hard, but that’s the only way you would learn.”

Yesterday, I had an unexpected conversation with a young woman. Along with her beautiful smile, I saw a sadness in her eyes. Before we parted she told me she is going through the breakup of a relationship she didn’t want to end and wiped away a tear. I told her, “I know that this is really painful right now, but you are one day closer to happiness.”

You wouldn’t want my life and I wouldn’t want yours but I wouldn’t trade my life for anything because my lessons have made me who I am.

Wow! What a Week!

I was featured on the IACP Culinary Substack.
Here’s a link to the piece about why I came to Substack.

IACP Culinary

The Edit with Kate McDermott

with Kate McDermott…

6 days ago · 14 likes · 5 comments · IACP Culinary

Chef Steps tested ten pie doughs and here’s what they said about the Art of the Pie Dough!

This is a perfect pie dough. Mixed together by hand, it’s resilient, a dream to roll out and shape, and it baked up into a crust with a very flaky texture and great flavor, thanks to the leaf lard incorporated into the dough.

You can read the full piece at Chef Steps: https://www.chefsteps.com/recipes/parametric-pie-dough

And here’s the link to the Art of the Pie Dough which is open to All:

And I was mentioned in Seattle Times in an article on summer peaches by Jill Lightner.

Link to Seattle Times: https://www.seattletimes.com/pacific-nw-magazine/perfect-peaches-yield-summertime-euphoria-pick-the-best/

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The JULY session with Rebecca Blackwell from the galley of her sailboat to making 3 easy summer dishes, A colorful hummus platter, sesame chicken salad, and watermelon and feta salad, was fabulous and is now available for replay to paid subscribers.

Here are the upcoming classes!

Friday, August 21, 2026, 12 pm Pacific/3 pm Eastern: Join Betty Williams for a fermentation primer and learn to make 2 kinds of Korean kimchi: quick-pickled Cucumber Kimchi and fermented Cabbage Kimchi.
Sunday, September 2026: Join Anna Vocino to cook through some of the best recipes from her new cookbook, Eat Happy Cocktail Hour! Anna will show us how to make some low-carb party food, including Low Carb GF Pigs In A Blanket, Caprese Martini, Dill Pickle Ranch Dip, and Pom Pom Mocktails.
Thursday, October 15, 2026, 10 am PT/1 pm EST: Join Nicki Sizemore to make two seasonal staples — a whipped ricotta dip and a grain-free pumpkin apple cake — alongside simple practices for cooking with more intention and joy.
Tuesday, November 10, 2026, 4 pm EST/ 1 pm PST: Join Kerry Faber to make a cozy fall favorite, Cabbage-Wrapped Chicken Parm Meatballs.
Friday, December 4, 2026: Stephanie Hansen - Soup or Holiday apps
Sunday, January 24, 2027, 3 pm Central, 4 pm Eastern Rachel Ciordas - Focaccia Pizza, Ice Water Salad, and a Champagne Cocktail- all GF
Tuesday, February 27, 2027, noon EST: Emma Frisch, Classic Italian Bolognese Pasta with a Frisch Twist - batch-cooking for families, tips for picky eaters, and dietary restrictions
Tuesday, March 16, 2027, 4 PM Pacific / 7 PM Eastern: Just in time for St Patrick’s Day, join Kate McDermott and learn to make a Classic Irish Apple Tart in this virtual session live from her Pie Cottage kitchen. You will receive a bonus recipe for a delicious custard sauce to serve with the tart, too.
Sunday, April 18, 2027, 9 am PST /1 pm EST/7 pm Italy time CET: Join Lolly Martyn to meal prep like an Italian nonna: We’ll make the simply delicious family favorite pasta e ceci (chickpeas) and effortlessly whip up some veggie broth and sugo (red sauce) for your freezer or fridge at the same time!
Friday, May 7, 2027, 12 pm PT / 3 PM ET: - Buying the Best Meat - join butcher and sustainable food advocate, Steve Sabicer, for a practical one-hour workshop on navigating today’s confusing meat landscape. Learn what meat labels actually mean, how to buy on a budget, and the questions you should ask your butcher, meat counter, or online vendor. You’ll also learn a few simple at-home butchery techniques to help stretch your dollars with minimal effort.
Thursday, June 3, 2027, 1 pm EST: Sheryl O’Connell - Summer themed - legume-based and portable salads.