#143: Letting Go of What No Longer Serves
When is it time to walk away? Plus a recipe for a delicious Strata.
Letting Go of What No Longer Serves
I watched The Banshees of Inisherin last week. Basically it’s the story two lifelong friends on a very small island in Ireland in 1923 during the Irish Civil War. Without warning, one decides that he doesn’t like the other anymore and shuts him out. The other can’t understand why that has happened and, for better or worse, he tries to figure it out. He finally has to walk away but not until after some very dark scenes and I don’t mean dark because of lighting.
Letting go of a loved one when they no longer want to be a part of my own life is hard. I’ve been ghosted before…a term I knew nothing of fifty years ago. Then comes the day when I run into them and mention that I haven’t heard from them and is everything OK. They give a little shrug and say…I’ve just been so…busy. Then there’s a wan smile and we share a little hug, and say Let’s catch up soon. I say….Yes, I’ll send you an email and I would love to get together. So, I do only to have it met with silence. I think what did I do or say? It’s hard because in that silence I’ll probably never know. I didn’t realize, or want to believe, that that those words, that smile, that hug were most likely our last.
We show up in each others lives at the perfect time and we rejoice at this perfection of connection for reasons yet unknow to us. At that time, it is perfect…until it isn’t. Maybe you or they walk into a mine field, but unless there is communication it’s impossible to know what happened to suddenly flip the relationship switch from on to off.
I’ve heard the words Let go of what doesn’t serve you. But that tender-hearted place I open to them is now aching and empty, and who knows how long it will take to heal, if ever. Even years later, little reminders can crack open that door to reveal bruises still there.
You would think that at this age I would get it when I reach out to say hello to an I’ve-just-been-so-busy “friend”, to congratulate them on a life event, to leave a comment and look to see if they have responded or at least acknowledged it with a little ❤️ only to receive the silent treatment again. I’ll never really know what I did wrong or didn’t do right, and you know…it’s time to stop trying to figure that out, and just let them go, because that journey is theirs…not mine. So, I think giving myself a little atta girl present for realizing I’ve done all that I can do is in order. A special something just for me.
One more thing…
When my dear friend Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin created a pie for Valentine’s Day featuring the images of two actors from The Last of Us, I decided to check out the first episode of season one.
About half-way through I pressed pause to text her and wrote… Is it this intense through all? Her reply? Pretty much. It’s a dark game with moments of lightness. Not a lighthearted romp. But better than the walking dead. I finished the episode and, although the acting is great, the series just isn’t for me. I’ve not seen Walking Dead either and probably won’t. Sometimes you just have to walk away from things that don’t serve you. And that’s OK.
A few Substacks I have been enjoying that you might too…
A lovely way to bring small seasonal rituals to the kitchen. The edition below reminds us to call in sweet energy when looking for a new home and the recipe for Welcome Home Cookies looks really good, too.
The Honest Broker
AI seems to be in the news and in newsletters often these days. Recently I had an email exchange with a food writer who asked me for my impression of some AI generated pie recipes. Yes, they were pie, but I didn’t think they were particularly memorable in any way. I think the jury is still out on AI…unless it’s an AI jury. You may enjoy Ted Joia’s thoughts about Microsoft AI.
If you missed this edition of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s newsletter, it’s totally worth reading. What a gracious and class act!
And finally a recipe for my dear paid subscribers for a Twenty-Four Hour Wine and Cheese Omelet, also known as Strata. I could eat this entire recipe!